And then I started wondering. I started worrying. I thought “Man this isn’t fair. For me this is really easy. There is no doubt I can reach the summit and then ski down as well as those smiling Buddhas. But it isn’t fair that for me it should be so easy, while so many other people could never do it.” Suddenly, a rope appeared coiled around my shoulder. I thought “Ah. All I have to do is lay down guidelines for people to uplift themselves. This way I don’t have to worry about whether or not other people can do it, because then I will have done my part to help them. Then I am free to go up and down the mountain as I choose.”

Feeling satisfied, me and my dramatic mind took that to be our latest mission: “To lay down guidelines for people to uplift themselves.” Man that felt good. To have such a kick-ass mission that once my work was done, I wouldn’t even have to deal with anyone anymore!

But I guess there was something else to learn, because a few weeks later, when I told an actual yogi about this vision, he said I was missing the point. He said the monks uplifted me without even trying to. Indeed, without even knowing I was there. They were just being themselves and having fun.

Damn. Now I had even more to think about!

Couple of years later, I had prescribed a meditation for myself to become a better manager. It was really challenging. Required a certain state of mind where I could gracefully balance many different things at once. Was having a really hard time doing it, so once again I asked the yogi.

“Hey. How do I do this meditation? I keep on getting all tripped up.”

“Yes” He responded. “You must cultivate a sense of being, not doing. It requires presence. Relaxation. Flow.”

Being. Not doing.

Yes. That was it exactly. That’s what it takes to manage many things at once.

To make sure you really get the picture, let me color it in with quotes. I once worked with a precocious young marketer who said “In order to get results like you have never seen before, you must become something you have never been before. So what must you become?”

Or as Thomas Leonard wrote: “Orient exclusively around your values.”

Or Jim Rohn: “It’s character that counts.”

Which opens the door for telling you about a young woman I recently met online. A woman who…well…let’s just say the only reason I would kick her out of bed…would be to do her on the floor. So it seems this hot young Harvard philosophy student had seen one of my videos somewhere. She wrote to me and said “Take it as a compliment that a 21 year old would do you.” Now being 46, I did indeed take that as a compliment, and for a moment, let go of the reigns and let my creative mind run wild. All kinds of pleasure-seeking thoughts ran amok throughout my brain, with total disregard for all the potential pain.

Fortunately, that story had a happy ending as my values won the day. But the reason I bring it up is because of something she said that I’m not sure I agree with. She said “All is play. No more. No less.”

Yeah, easy for a hot young philosopher to say. And hell, maybe even easy for some transcendent yogi or smiling monk to demonstrate. But what about all my lousy bills? What about all the work I have to do? What about all the rules and responsibilities of daily living? All is play? No freakin’ way! What kind of view is that?

And then I remembered quoting Ayn Rand in another recent conversation. I had referenced the scene where Dagny crashes her plane and then says to her lover “We never had to take any of it seriously, did we.”

And then there is Stephen Covey’s stance: “While values are internal and subjective, principles are external natural laws that ultimately determine consequence.”

Or what about Richard Bach’s line from Illusions where he wrote. “What if God commanded you to be happy?”

Hell even on this website, I have previously written that “When your work becomes your play, everything is okay.”

And here I am right now visiting my younger brother in Iowa. His name is Grant and he’s an emergency-room doctor. Always the hardest worker, Grant really loves his job, has a beautiful home and family, great health, great friends, all the toys and travel he desires, is passionate about life in general…in short the lad is really living well, while managing so many different things…and yet it seems like he is always smiling and having fun!

But here’s the thing. Today Grant came home from work and he was telling me about a 7 year old little girl who tripped and put a screwdriver through her eye. I’ll spare you the details, but the screwdriver was lodged deep inside the child’s brain, and my brother’s job was to pull that damn thing out with minimal damage.

Now I don’t know about you, but to me that doesn’t sound like a whole lot of fun for anyone concerned. So here is Grant’s philosophy: “Sometimes life just sucks. Deal with it.”

The happiest, healthiest, most successful people I know, are those who are congruent. My definition of “congruence” is when what you are saying and doing on the outside matches what you are thinking and feeling on the inside.

That is attractive and powerful beyond measure.

1. Know What You Want

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In order to succeed at anything, you must begin with the end in mind. You must begin by clearly defining the target, seeing it in your imagination first and knowing exactly what it is you desire. Hold your objective in mind, and in your veins carry the knowledge that you already own the result. You must believe, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that if it is your will, then your will shall be done. You must have absolute faith, supreme confidence, and total conviction in the fact that once you have decided upon a target, NOTHING can stand in your way, or tempt you from your course.
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2. Know Why You Want It

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If you are not fully associated to your reasons, if you forget why the goal was so important, or if you don’t have reasons that are big enough to get you through whatever obstacles you will encounter, then you will probably never get there. Remember that “Reasons come first. Answers come second.” When you get a big enough WHY to do something, the HOW becomes easier. Once you know your reasons, once you’ve got some leverage on yourself, once you are truly inspired to go the distance, then you will undoubtedly attract everything you need to make it happen.
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3. Take Massive Action

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Take immediate action. Take massive action. Take consistent action. Take ANY action! If you act and you are wrong, you will gain precious insight that will help you to improve. If you act and you are right, then you are already moving forward. Remember that: “Experience is what I get when I didn’t get what I wanted.” Believe that: “Everything happens for a reason that serves me.” And know that: “Better results come from better judgment, and better judgment often comes from poor decisions.” Trust yourself. Trust your judgment. And take massive action. When you act against the improbable, you will achieve more than you ever dreamed possible.
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4. Measure Your Results

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Once you take action, take notice. Constantly monitor your progress to see how things are going. You might already be succeeding and not even be aware of how well you’re doing! You’ve got to appreciate how far you’ve come and constantly catch yourself doing well, because the better you feel about yourself than the better you’ll keep doing for yourself! Ask yourself empowering questions to stay locked on target: What is my outcome? How am I really doing? Am I getting what I want? Am I moving in a good direction? How can I be more effective? How can I have even more fun in the process. What more can I do right now? How’s my pace? How’s my tempo? What is my outcome?
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5. Change Your Approach and Try UNTIL.

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Does an airplane fly in a straight line from point A to point B? No! The pilot must constantly re-evaluate his approach and make adjustments a couple of degrees left, a few degrees right…up, down, slower, faster…a bit more here, a bit less there…whatever it takes to stay on course! If you find yourself off course, if you find something isn’t working, try something else! And if that doesn’t work, try something else! And if that doesn’t work, try something else! You must try UNTIL you get your desired result! How long would you give your average baby to learn how to walk, before you write him off and toss him out the door? What?!! You’d say “That’s crazy! My baby is going to keep on trying UNTIL he finally gets it!” That’s the magic formula.
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MH
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You are the only one who can ever make you happy. And guess what? You are the only one who can make you unhappy, too! Why? Because there is always a choice about how you respond to any given situation. That’s what personal response-ability means. It is the ability to respond in a way that serves your purpose.

So now I’m going to tell you something you might not like to hear:

The only thing stopping you from getting what you want, is your story for why you can’t have it. What that means is, the things you are so convinced are true, are the very same things that are preventing you from changing your approach, and getting a better result.

Last night there were fireworks in my home. My girlfriend’s daughter and I had a difference of opinion over what time an eleven year old should go to bed. Of course, she tried everything she could think of in order to get her way, but in the end, she didn’t get what she wanted. Not only that, but she made things even worse for herself by slamming things around, and now her cell phone has been taken as well.

As I was thinking about how to help her get back on track this morning, I was wondering if she really understood what the problem is. And then it occurred to me that her problem is the same thing that at all my clients are struggling with. Its the problem they all have in common, and it’s the essence of what they have all hired me to help them solve:

“How can I consistently make the choices that will get me what I want?”

In fact, anyone who ever wants to accomplish anything, will always face this challenge…

• A person who wants to lose weight must consistently make the choices that will get them there.
• A person who wants to make a million dollars must consistently make the choices that will get them there.
• A person who wants to compete in the olympics, learn a musical instrument, get a scholarship, buy a new car, get clean and sober, have a better relationship…
  all must consistently make the choices that will ultimately get them what they want.

Just like a little girl who is pouting about her bed time, must now consistently make the choices that will allow her to stay up later.

But her story is, she doesn’t have to listen to me because I am not her father. That’s the reason that she keeps on repeating to herself over and over in her head. Heck, she’s even screaming it at the top of her lungs to convince anyone else who will listen! In the moment of her anger, do you think she feels it’s true? Do you think she believes her reasons are totally valid? Do you think she really believes the story that she is telling herself? You betchyerass she does!

According to her, the reason she can’t have her cell phone, is because her mom’s boyfriend is really mean and there’s nothing she can do about it. That’s her story. That’s her reason for why she can’t get what she wants. And as long she keeps on sticking to her story, then she’s right. There’s is nothing she can do. And it’s a really big challenge for her, because right now she is every bit as certain that her reasons are valid, as you are convinced that your reasons are valid, too.

I repeat. The only thing stopping you from getting what you want, is your story for why you can’t have it.

Remember that response ability, is the ability to respond in a way that serves your purpose. And remember that nothing has any meaning, except the meaning you choose to give it. So what you really want to ask yourself is…

“What meaning can I give it,

to take the actions that I must,

to get the results that I desire?”

MH

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Many years ago I saw a poster of a saxophone player, with a caption underneath that read “Do what you love. The rest comes.”
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Back then I wanted to believe those words, but I knew if I did, it would mean I’d have to put everything on the line. I’d have to risk taking action and then live with whatever consequence if I failed. “Going for it” meant giving up everything else in my life that was safe and comfortable and familiar. It would mean facing my ultimate fears, with no guarantee of success, and nothing to rely on but myself.
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Back then I wasn’t ready to believe in doing what I loved. I wasn’t ready for the level of responsibility that being true to myself and others actually required. Now, twenty years later, all I can tell you is it’s true. You’ve got to believe in yourself. You’ve got to believe in your dream. It’s worth it.
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Find a way to do what you love. Whatever it is. Whatever it takes. Start now. Live to support your Love, and your Love will support your life.
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MH
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Here’s a quick tip: Don’t call them “Goals”, call them “Promises”.
You’ll work harder to keep your promises,
than you will to achieve your goals.

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Years ago I made a promise to myself to be earning $1,000,000 per year by Dec 31st, 2010. And while I know some people who are already making that kind of money, I’m sure a lot of other people would say it’s a really crazy goal. They may think it is too hard to achieve, or that nobody needs that kind of money in the first place. I disagree.
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If you are an Olympic athlete, winning a gold medal might be a pretty big goal. If you are a musician, it might be cutting an album. A snowboarder, getting sponsored. A mountain climber, Everest. Are achieving any of these things really necessary? Guess it all depends on your beliefs. It depends on what you value. It depends on what you consider to be essential.
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A good question to ask yourself is: Once you hit your goal, once you have finally achieved this thing you set out to do, what then? Will you totally stop doing that thing you love to do? Or will you keep on doing it even after you achieve your goal? Here’s one thing I have learned about pursuing goals: It’s pointless doing it for the sake of whatever you might achieve. You must do it for the sake of who you will become, and what you will experience in the process.
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If you suddenly win a million dollars,
then you better hurry up and become a millionaire,
otherwise you are sure to lose it.

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It’s attitude that counts. Its our psychology, our philosophy, our state of mind, our perspective that truly matters most. Why? Because one day you might wake up and realize that “thoughts are things”. That good or bad, whatever we believe, whatever we hold to be true, and especially whatever we consistently focus on, will eventually show up in our lives one way or another.
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Why do we do what we do? Some people never seem to give it any thought. Never wonder about their real purpose or reasons for doing things, they just go ahead and do them. Other people are obsessed. They think about things way too much. They suffer “paralysis from analysis.” In truth, we all do both at one time or another. Sometimes we say “he who hesitates is lost” and other times we say “look before you leap.”
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If you can see opposite points of view, then what should you believe? Which way should you turn? Goals can give you direction, AND you must remember that if you are living for your goals than you are missing the whole point. The fact is, goals are nothing but markers along the path. They give us something to shoot for, but it’s our values that matter most.
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Goals ask: “What do I want to achieve?”
Values ask: “What is truly most important?”

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When I was many years younger, the most important thing to me was freedom. That’s what I valued most. Later, when I had all the freedom I wanted, what I valued most was…sex. When I had all the sex I wanted, what I valued most was family. Once I had a family, what I valued most was truth. And now that I’ve found some truth, what’s most important to me is living well and doing whatever that requires. Without compromising my core values..
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Reasons Come First.

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“Reasons come first, answers come second. If you get a big enough WHY to do something, the HOW becomes easier.”
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When did I first hear that…must have been at least 25 years ago. Yeah, I was probably 19 at the time. No, I was 18, because I was still living with my parents. Looking for a way to move out as soon as possible. Looking for a way to make some money, because back then I believed that money equaled freedom. I desperately wanted to be free.
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So a friend had given me an audio tape to listen to. It was a motivational tape called “Do Well Regardless”, by a man named Jim Rohn. What I heard on that tape had a profound impact on my life. For one, it helped me make millions of dollars in real estate.
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That was a long time ago. My first million dollar cheque came when I was 22 years old. I am now more than twice that age, and, much to my chagrin, I have yet to make the same kinds of profits that I was making when I walked away from real estate almost twenty years ago. I tried in business, failed. Tried the stock market, failed. Tried the internet, failed.
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For almost two decades now, I have tried and tried to hit my goal of netting over a million dollars a year, but that particular target has continued to elude me. Still, I know that everything happens for a reason, and at last the reasons are clear. One reason I haven’t achieved that goal, is because I wasn’t having enough fun in the process. I wasn’t honestly enjoying whatever I was doing. It was always just a means to an end. And that was my mistake. But I do enjoy writing. And I love teaching. Think I’m just gonna run with that and see where it may lead…
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MH
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The Top 10 Reasons People Fail
To Achieve Their Goals

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1. They don’t clearly define them.
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2. They make them a moving target.
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3. They forget their reasons to succeed.
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4. They focus on their fears.
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5. They make their goals impossible to achieve.
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6. They don’t believe they can achieve them.
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7. They don’t have an effective plan or strategy.
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8. They don’t create a supportive environment.
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9. They never get good directions or coaching.
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10. Failure to accept personal responsibility.
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MH
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Nothing
can take the place
of persistence.

Talent will not;
nothing is more common
than unsuccessful men
with great talent.

Genius will not;
unrewarded genius is almost
a proverb.

Education will not;
the world is full
of educated derelicts.

Persistence and determination alone
are omnipotent.

-Calvin Coolidge

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